Flushed – A Quadrille and April Runfession #9

My face flushed from this furious run 

My eyes reddened by saline streaming south 

My tongue tastes salt from sweaty tears or tearful sweat 

My shoulders alternate between tensely touching my ears and depressingly drooping

Hamster wheel running provides the only approved escape route


April is coming to an end. It’s been a month since the shelter in place order has been in effect in our area. That’s a month of not being able to physically be in school, get together with friends, go on a group run. That’s a month of virtual learning or cyber learning or distancing learning or not learning. That’s a month of missed birthdays, missed trips to the play ground, missed races.  April is coming to an end when it seems like it never even got started. 

Forgive me, Nike, for I have sinned….

Ma Irma


I runfess…I have not been “just doing it”. If you look at my mileage for March and April, it is quite pitiful compared to the strong start I had in January and February. I think I’ve been in “shock” even though everyone else in the family seems to have adjusted to the shelter in place order.  I was trying really hard to get the kids to do their school work, make home made healthy meals every day, stay on top of laundry and cleaning  – basically, being all “Little House on the Prairie” . I never saw Ma needing a run because she needed a break from Pa and Laura and Mary and Baby Carrie and the cooking and cleaning on the farmstead.

I runfess…I’m no Ma Ingalls! I need to workout to keep my sanity while doing all those other things. So, I’ve slowly been getting back into a regular running schedule. Since I’m not morning person, this has meant going to bed really, really, really late. By the time the kids are in bed, the dishes done, the house cleaned up and things prepped for the next day (plus logging onto WordPress and getting some writing in), I’m not heading down to the treadmill until around 11 PM.  I don’t think I’ve been able to get to bed before 1 AM the past few days!

(This picture on the right is from when I visited the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum in Walnut Grove, MN.  I loved watching Little House on the Prairie growing up so this was a highlight on our cross-country trip. But as you can see, frontier life is not for me! If the bonnet doesn’t fit….)


On the positive side though – I’ve reached 200 miles this year for the Run The Year Challenge! Realistically, I probably won’t be able to finish 2020 miles this year, but I’m going to see how many miles I can get in. Not having my SRTT/MRTT group to run with has been so hard…but seeing their posts about their sola runs have continued to be inspiring and motivating! IMG_5821

I runfess…I’ve been crying after my runs (the inspiration for my poem which was written for Mish at dVerse Quadrille #102 – Flush). I’ve been keeping it together during the day with the kids but these nightly runs and crying sessions have been very cathartic. It’s like the feeling I get after I’ve finished a particularly grueling race or run. This shelter in place has felt like running a marathon very day for the last 35 days…except my butt seems to be growing instead of shrinking….

Not a very upbeat or inspirational runfession for this month but an honest one – isn’t that what runfessions are for? Thanks for this forum, Marcia at Marcia’s Healthy Slice!

Until next time….I’m still writing and running and raising these kids the best I can…plus, my jeans do still fit….


© 2020 iido

41 thoughts on “Flushed – A Quadrille and April Runfession #9

  1. I have done far worse. We aren’t allowed any outdoor activities…fullstop! Glad you have been doing some runs Irma and keeping positive, taking care of kids and so much more. Love that photo of you in costume! I too loved the series, had read the book after I watched the serial, I had a secret wish to ride in a wagon then.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I would love to ride on the back of the wagon with you in cute little bonnets! I know people in other countries have more restrictions. This pandemic has exposed so much – of what is really important to our lives and also what isn’t working in our lives.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. hey I feel it … I think mothers and domestic goddesses all deserve medals if they come out of this isolation sane! Best to run and cry and get it all out 🙂

    My meditation and blogging keep me sane … so keep jogging, keep crying and nobody can be perfect or we ain’t human!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Irma, be proud of your achievements! Online classes are no fun for kids, so don’t worry too much about it. Running and crying is good for the body and the soul. Take care, my dear friend.

    P.S. you look cute in that bonnet!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well, I say, celebrate all you’ve accomplished! You’re doing great! I was proud to get 30 minutes of qi gong twice this week. I dream of joining you beautiful and inspiring runners again someday. My daughter runs a couple of miles a day near London, not sure how she does it. I love the Ingalls photo of you. {{{Irma}}} Glad I stopped by today. Ooh and thanks for the Pub for Poets link. That looks fun. ♥.

    Liked by 1 person

      • It is so beautiful! I am only a beginner but after the first one I felt amazing. I hope to get strong enough to stand all the way through. Then comes the walking and some day the running again. The thing about qi gong I love is it is very gentle but I feel like I just did a full workout with weights. That lovely pulsing flow through muscles. YOU know, runner girl. =) We’re doing well and are hopeful.I hope you and yours are too. *hugs* ♥.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I haven’t done as much running as I would have liked either. The weather hasn’t helped. I am a fair weather runner and I have no treadmill. At least I am doing workouts, more strength which is what I wanted to focus on here lately. Hoping to get for a run today. Going to go down tot he river for a flat run. The hills were getting to my mental state, lol! Miss running with you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You are doing just fine, Irma. 2020 miles in a year, wow! You are setting your goals VERY high, virus or not virus. I set a goal of 1000 miles a few years ago and managed to do 500! You are doing just fine. Make that your mantra. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  7. April was a tough, super stressful month for sure. You deserve a pass. Any running/workouts you did was perfect. Before the LIttle House on the Prairie TV series came out, I read ALL the books. They were my fave! Thanks for linking!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Honesty is the best, seriously, because it helps other people who feel the same way.

    Of course I personally would die if I were staying up that late. Even the 8 pm Zoom call with my friends is too late for me, LOL! I pop in for just a few minutes.

    I’m glad that your runs are cathartic for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: 2.23 – A Tanaga | I Do Run

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