Good Night Fight – A Villanelle

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A crackle wakes me from slumber at night
A million footsteps pitter-pattering overhead
Just snuggle me close, don’t put up a fight

My imagination rumbles taking flight
Forming shadows of that book we/I read
A crackle wakes me from slumber at night

Sparkling lines illuminate the storm cloud’s delight
I run to your room, my bravery shed
Just snuggle me close, don’t put up a fight

Under the covers, I crawl like a mite
Reveling quietly in the warmth of your bed
Away from the crackle that woke me this night

But the glare from your eyes, made me feel trite
Maybe I should have gone to Dad’s side instead
Mom – Please, snuggle me close, don’t put up a fight?

A rumble and sizzle, then glorious light
You pause, then with loving arms said,
“Did that crackle wake you from your slumber this night?
I’ll snuggle you close. Don’t put up a fight.”

This is my second attempt at a Villanelle – the poetry form of the month at dVerse. It’s still a hard form for me! Feedback would be very appreciated!

I was inspired by Patrick’s Pic and a Word Challenge #181 – Night and this wonderful picture from Hélène’s “What do you see?” picture challenge. Of course, my mind went to all the times my kids have come into my room at night scared for one reason or another. We had also just see “The Sound of Music” and this brings to mind the “Raindrops on Roses” scene – one of my favorites!

One of my struggles as a mom is finding that balance between raising independent, self-sufficient children while making them still feel loved, cared for, treasured. Do I bring them back to their room or just let them sleep with me (which is what I know they want and sometimes need)? *Full disclosure – I am writing this with my 11 year old in the asleep bed with me. The struggle is real…

©️ iido 2019

48 thoughts on “Good Night Fight – A Villanelle”

  1. when you write from a personal experience your poetry takes on a deeper meaning, it is sharing a human struggle not just imagined strife. modern villanelle’s seem to take on harder subjects like you have here and deal with it bringing to closure the poet finding his/her way through the labyrinth, I get that from your writing Irma. you ruminate with economy yet there is enough weight to stress your point.

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  2. I agree with Gina, her summation is perfect….
    New Villanelle’s don’t strictly adhere to traditional guidelines of a true Villanelle these days, which allows for more freedom of poetic expression, and I think you done very well Irma….

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  4. Love this. I thought you did well with the form, I am new to this form and just attempted my first. Yours brought back memories of my son and that dilemma of letting him stay. I always did. When they feel secure and know they can be supported when needed, I believe, only then can they be independent and self-sufficient! And he now is, but knows we are always there for him. A good feeling.

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  5. A beautiful form to write to Irma. Your feelings are all over the poem, definitely let them stay. You did show yourself fully in this writing making it come alive. I love it.

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  7. Hello there Irma…i feel you…motherhood is never an easy job…never..and just when you thought you’d finally get to rest because they are grown ups…you/we are wrong …the job just got started..lol..

    And putting those “mommy feelings” into writing makes up a beautiful.poetry…really good Irma..or i say this is one of my favorite among all of your poems..

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  13. Unless specifically told to stick to the classic parameters, I always gravitate toward a more modern slant. What I garner from writing to classic forms, are clues and hints that can influence my personal style. I liked what you did with this; nice softening of the refrains. I tend to write the couplet first, and then stick to the repetition exactly; seeing how it fits into the new stanzas.

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    • Thank you for the advice, Glenn! I am usually a rule follower but this villanelle form is challenging for me. I will try to write another using your technique of writing the couplet first. I appreciate your feedback!

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  16. I love this story, brought back so many memories. The need for acceptance and the chance to snuggle running through the villanelle, the phrase running from mind to child to mom’s voice in such a tender way.

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