This is been an exhausting week for no particular reason. Maybe it’s the weather or maybe it’s the drop in adrenalin after the election or maybe it’s the dreaded “pandemic fatigue” (dun, dun, duuuunnnn). Or maybe it’s the fact that the holidays are coming and there isn’t that general sense of holiday cheer or “peace on earth and goodwill to all” that usually comes this time of year.
Whatever it is, maybe curiosity – as in wondering, observing and reflecting – is the answer to opening our hearts again to the depth of beauty and love that resides in our world, including the people around us.
I am so late for the September runfession! But I committed to documenting my monthly running achievements so here it is. Thanks again for to Marcia for this forum. I’ve read the other runfessions and definitely feel like a bump on a log this month.
Forgive me Nike for I have sinned…
I runfess…I definitely did not “just do it” this past month. Only thirty-seven miles! I remember when I used to do that in a week! Maybe 100 miles was a reach for September considering I had to get the kids started with school. My goal this month: 50 miles.
I runfess…I actually have two injuries – one running related – that has halted my ability to do strength training. The running related one is tennis elbow. You may be wondering how I hurt my elbow running – well, it’s a repeated use injury which started at last year’s Hershey Half Marathon where I carried a water bottle in my right hand in the pouring rain. Since that day, my elbow has been stiff and locks up and my forearm has weakness. This past spring, I had to take a steroid shot to alleviate some the pain but it’s returned. My other injury is a shoulder injury from doing too many mountain climbers (also from last summer when I was working with a personal trainer). Needless to say, I cannot do curls or overhead raises or anything involving any range of motion with my arms at this time.
I runfess…despite these setbacks, I am loving this fall weather and reading about how much running all the other women in my SRTT running group are doing. While we still haven’t done any official group runs, there have been some women who have gotten together for socially distant running. I miss running with my BRF and all the other awesome mother runners in our group! Spending time with other strong women was really something that motivated me and “filled my bucket.” My goal this month is to reconnect with my running tribe – whether it’s virtually or with some socially distant runs.
Whew…OK, that wasn’t too bad! I am always aware about not posting running related things on my blog. I feel my brain space has been taking up with pandemic parenting, issues of social/racial justice and now, getting people to vote in the upcoming USA elections.
I realize my lens has shifted – as evidenced by my haiku, even a beautiful walk in the country is colored by the history of racism and sexism in this country.
I would love to refocus on my running and health, but there just seems to be too many other important things happening that grabs my attention right now. I’m trying for balance as the scales tip all the way in one direction and then the other.
On November 3rd, 2020, I hope the universe realigns itself and gets back on course so I can get back on track.
This haiku was written for Patrick’s Pic and Word Challenge #236 – Freedom. My head has been pretty preoccupied with all the protests that have been occurring, as well as the usual pandemic news briefings. It’s disconcerting to me in many ways, so I have been trying hard to find the places that I can control and feel effective in what I do. This has been challenging.
Besides redlining, sundown towns are another “hidden” aspect of the systemic nature of racism here in the USA. These practices were not written in history books but people – whites and blacks – knew about them. Because they weren’t documented, there was no way for blacks to prove they were being discriminated against. And if they tried to prove it or if they did not follow these written rules, there would be a violent reaction.
This is how racism works for people of color – stay silent or be a target. For white people, racism’s message is – stay silent and enjoy the benefits or you’ll be a target as well.
This is why we need to be raise our voices and our actions to be ANTI-Racist. Being passively against racism is how racism exists. This passivity includes saying the right words, even believing in equality, but not doing anything about it.
I live in a white neighborhood – there is only one other Asian family that lives in our whole entire neighborhood. On our cul-de-sac with six families, I know there are three families that support the current president who has shown support for racist attitudes. I bought the sign below:
Will freedom of speech be extended to us? We’ll see when the sun goes down….
My daughter saw this imprint of little foot prints on a sidewalk as we were walking through Paris this summer. As I was pointing out the architecture and ooh-ing and aah-ing at the Parisian ambiance, my daughter had noticed this lovely detail that we would have just walked by. Children do see the world in a different, and often times better, way than adults do. This is what gives me hope in today’s world.
We all tell lies to ourselves whether we know it or not. My most frequent lie to myself is thinking that I have enough time to do something, when really I don’t. Hence, the reason I am perpetually tardy. I don’t know why I haven’t learned that lesson: I consider myself an insightful person, I know I underestimate time and have always struggled with time management. Yet, something inside makes it hard for me to believe that it really doesn’t take only 15 minutes to get anywhere.
Some lies are OK to believe, in my opinion, like the lie of Santa Claus or the lie that I still look good in the pants I wore when I was 20 (I can still get them past my hips if I suck everything in!). These lies serve a purpose for that point in life. But after awhile, we do have to start seeing reality and accepting the truth. Or come up with a different and better lie than before.
Patrick’s Pic and a Word Challenge #215 – Point included a poem and picture of one of my favorite places in the world: Big Sur, specifically the Pacific Coast Highway which runs along cliffs that overlook the Pacific Ocean. It truly is the ragged edge of the United States or “the Western World” as the annual international marathon states.
I ran the Big Sur International Marathon in 2016. It was my “Farewell to California Race” since it was the last race I did before we moved. When we lived in CA, we visited Big Sur, Capitola, Santa Cruz and Monterrey often. That area embodies my idea of California with its contrasts of rust colored, sharp pointed cliffs, golden sands, verdant grasses and redwood forests all shaped by the deep blue waves of the Pacific Ocean. The vibe is relaxed and eclectic – the perfect get away from the hustle and bustle of Silicon Valley.
When I ran the BSIM, I was 1 year post-partum with my youngest. I had to defer the race from 2015 since I was having the baby then, so I was really excited for the opportunity to run this race. Despite not having lost all the baby weight and not training as well as I could have (I was still nursing then as well), I felt strong and capable. I had trained with some fantastic members from the San Jose Chapter of Moms RUN this Town who had also thrown a goodbye party for me a few weeks before. It was really a wonderful race to end one chapter of my life and begin another.
The weeks have gone by so fast this December! Writing and blogging has given way to shopping and “celebrating” the season. Although, I can argue that half the time it’s hard to say what exactly is being celebrated besides commercialism.
I hope this holiday season does not go by as a blur for you – that you have the time to savor the love of family and the comfort of friends. Merry Christmas to my Christian friends! Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends! Happy holidays to my friends celebrating other traditions this month! And for those who prefer this version – Happy Festivus!
I love orange the color and orange the fruit so I had many ideas for this poem. One of my favorite jokes also includes the word “orange” (orange you glad I’m not telling it here?). Then I found this picture of my daughter horseback riding and it all came together!