Clouds

A poem inspired by Pic and a Word Challenge #146. While Patrick’s optimism shines through in his writing, mine took a slightly different turn…Thanks for another great prompt, Patrick!

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Amorphous clouds engulf me –

My true hand unseen

My heart frozen, unloved

My breath stilled and unworthy

My solid form deemed weak

What was supposed to shade me

Protect me

From the bleaching hanging sun

Now hurts my skin with its

Wispy viper tendrils

I thought you were my friend

But I missed the forecast for

Cloudy with a chance of

selfish entitlement.

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Group Run EXTRA Love

We are vacationing this week and were able to stop in San Jose, the heart of Silicon Valley and my old running grounds. How I’ve missed these golden trails and the lovely women who helped shaped me as a runner (literally and figuratively)!

My 7 am Saturday morning run was one of my fastest – and most effortless – in recent months. Catching up with some awesome women is always a great way to distract my brain and body during a run.

Plus the views and the weather! Perfection!!

At this group run, we broke up into 3 groups – BAMRs who were running straight, middle of the packers who were doing 3:1 intervals and a couch to 5k group who were doing 1:1 intervals. Because this was an out and back course, we all got to see each other over the 4 miles and cheer each other on. Some of the moms were also running a virtual race for childhood cancer and had dressed up for our miles that morning.

RBs always know how to make running more enjoyable – whether dressing up or playing running games or just being their fantastic selves and sharing conversation! Here we are “racing” to catch up to the other group. That’s Loriann (in her Superwoman costume – borrowed from her pup!) and Jamie (in her Cancer Mom Strong shirt) making way for Darlene and I as we show off our peak racing form!

Darlene and I were Chapter Leaders together and ironically, we were both from New England prior to moving to SJ. Being CLs had its ups and downs, but I’m sure Darlene will agree that the ups outweighed the downs. Since I first met Darlene, she has undergone a significant physical transformation and she is now one strong and speedy mother runner! Plus, she continues to encourage other moms to start or continue in their running journey. This Saturday, she brought a friend who ran her first 4 mile route that day. Darlene is the RB who will make the time to run with you when you really need the company.

Josephine is my Ate (that’s Big Sister in Tagalog) from another inay (mother). She is my “running goals inspiration”! For her last significant birthday (she turned 25…again!), she ran the Rome Marathon and now she is training for Chicago. She kept me going during our epically humid Maui Race and despite her claims of “I’m never racing in Hawaii ever again,” I know she’s gone back there to prove just how much of a BAMR she is!

The test of a true good RB is that even after months or years of not running together, once your feet start moving, it’s like no time has passed! And that’s why MRTT group runs always have a special place in my heart and in my life! ❤️

Group Run Love

I’ve written before about my wonderful running group, Moms RUN this Town – but I’m doing a special shout out to my local MRTT Chapter. These women get me out and push me to run stronger every time. And since most of them are moms – they don’t put up with complaining or whining or any other BS.

Case in point, yesterday I was supposed to go out for a run, however:

Excuse #1: forecast called for rain. The sky was cloudy and it had been raining on and off all morning. But my running buddy (RB), Michele, sent me texts showing where we were running was rain free for a couple of hours.

Excuse #2: my kids started to whine about the possibility of rain, that they were hungry, that they wanted to bring a different helmet, that they wanted their bike and not the scooter, that they were worried about slipping if the ground was wet…you get the picture, right? But my RB said to just come up, if it rains, we’ll have lunch instead!

Excuse #3: on the way to the run, I needed to stop for a kid potty break, which would make us 15 min late for our meet up. But my RB said, no worries, I’ll wait for you!

(Sigh) All my attempts for getting out of the run were thwarted!

And I am so glad!!

We had a great run with minimal whining (adults and kids) and no rain. We even did hill repeats to break up our usual routine.

If I was running by myself…well, let’s just say this post would NOT have been about running!

So here’s to all the beautiful women who make up MRTT! LOVE my BAMR RBs!!

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Frozen

My heartbeat slowed

But didn’t stop

You made my heart Brake

And Break

Shattered and frozen

Because you couldn’t…wouldn’t….didn’t

So I pick up the pieces

And pick up the pace

You’re on your own now.

snow tree

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Hello! It’s been a long time….

It’s seemed like a very long winter for many reasons…yet, all seasons must come to an end and I randomly decided that today was the day for this particular season to end for me. Today is Mother’s Day 2017 – a day of significance for women who may be celebrating or grieving, answering their call to action or acknowledging that mothering comes in many forms.

I have “mothered” since I was a young child: helping out around the house by doing laundry, the dishes, watching my younger siblings. I was the “listening ear” and “shoulder to cry on” for my friends. I was responsible and dependable.  I have always been a caretaker in some form or another.  I even entered a profession based on care taking.

Yet, being a mother is something that, I still feel, doesn’t come naturally to me.  In the same way, that running doesn’t come naturally to me. What does come naturally to me is sleeping, eating, snuggling in a warm bed, and reading books for hours.  However, none of those things can get you medals on a regular basis.

But being an AWESOME MOTHER RUNNER does!!

awesome MR picThanks to the wonderful folks at Gone for a Run and of course, my fantastic Moms RUN this Town Chapter, I got a 5K run done on this Mother’s Day Weekend.  (Thanks to my husband and kids, the laundry got folded and I did not touch one pan this entire weekend!)

This run gave me some time to think about my relationship with my other female friends, most of whom are moms in one way or another.  I used to think that being a mom automatically made us “simpatica” – the shared understanding of the push and pull that comes with being responsible for these little bundles of energy and love.

However, these past few months has taught me the difficult truth that this isn’t always true – there may be a time and place, that another woman and I might connect but then later, in different circumstances, that connection becomes broken and may even become irreparably severed.

At times, I’ve felt that way about running, too – that running and I had reached a point where we weren’t on the same wavelength. More specifically, running wanted to keep me moving forward, while my body, heart and/or mind wanted to keep me firmly on the couch.  These impasses have always been difficult for me to navigate, yet in the end, moving forward always wins and I put my running shoes on.

So, that’s what I’m doing today. Because staying frozen is really not an option.  I’m ready to “let it go” (haha, of course! Insert eye roll here) and start moving forward again.

 

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