Radiance Reviewed – A Poem

My radiance suffers

when I don’t sleep

and the bags under my eyes

carry tears and worries.

.

My radiance suffers

when I eat sour cream pringles

and bagels with cream cheese

then bemoan the cheese on my thighs.

.

My radiance suffers

when I have three kids on my one lap

and I don’t have enough

eyes and ears to share.

.

My radiance suffers

when I am googling and scrolling

and shoveling crap into my brain and soul

thinking it’s fertilizer instead of just shit.

.

My radiance suffers

when I don’t talk to an adult

besides with my thumbs

that can’t differentiate between sarcasm and snark.

.

My radiance suffers

My light gets dimmer

My flame flickers

But maybe

It is not my time to shine….

Playing catch up as the school year starts! There won’t be any “alone time” this year since my kids will all be learning from home so I’m trying to “find time” when I can. Right now, time is waiting in line for take out.

This poem was written for Patrick’s Pic and A Word Challenge #244 – Radiance. I’m a week or two behind but I’m committed to this streak!

Life is anything but radiant right now, so like reading and writing and running, I’m trying to find the glimmers when I can. My friend calls this “find grace” – for myself and others – during this time. It really does help find the “shine” in the heavy dullness of living during a pandemic. It’s the hope that I’m clinging to. It’s the priorities that I am mindfully choosing. It’s the gratitude for blessings that I am counting.

So while I may not yet be back to regular posts…I’m still here… and I appreciate your time in reading this….

©️ 2020 iido

To Mothers Making Tough Decisions – A Cinquain

Mother

With broken heart

Your knowing eyes loving

Despite fearing unknown chaos

Hero

Image credit; Lucas Pezeta at Pexels
( For the visually challenged reader, the image shows face of a woman. It is painted with luminous glitter paint and the features are highlighted with bright yellow lines, ending in a question mark on the forehead)

Joining Sadje’s “What do you see?” picture prompt #42 this week with the beautiful picture above. I would have loved to know where this picture was taken, if it was for a special ceremony or celebration. The colors are so vibrant against the black background – they seem illuminated even on my computer screen. And the design – does it allude to the “third eye” or does it have some other symbolic meaning?

It’s the person’s gaze in the picture that drew me in. I made the assumption that it was a feminine face, but I could be totally wrong since there are no other indicators of gender. As with any picture, our interpretation really reflects more of who we are and our point of views/filters/biases than on what the artist’s intent is.

The gaze in this picture speaks to resignation – knowing something and accepting it. I am hoping it is a compassionate resignation – knowing the decision made is done with the best intentions and understanding of the current data.

I would like to imagine that this is the look that I have right now. I would like to imagine that it’s the same look mothers/caregivers all over the United States have, after making the difficult decision of whether to send their kids to in-person school or attempt learning from home. I would like to imagine that we are looking at each other with this compassionate resignation and also with the unspoken promise of support no matter the outcome.

The first word of this poem could also be replaced with “Teachers” and the last word would remain the same, “Heroes”. I know our teachers are also struggling with the difficult decision of return to school – for themselves and their children. Again – I bestow the look of compassionate resignation and the promise of support for the following school year.

As this pandemic continues and many of us are feeling the fatigue of continuing with safety measures, let’s practice this compassionate look above our masks. Our eyes can convey hope as easily as contempt.

©️ 2020 iido

What Do You See? – A Poem

Three pairs of teacups

Or is it two pairs of three?

Waiting for loving hands

Or is it more a mystery?

.

A pair of pictures

One dark and one light

An ominous warning?

Or a universe’s insight?

.

A lone vase 

Filled with branches reaching

The seated figure

Meditating or teaching?

.

The elegant teapot

In front of the chair

In front of that wall

Of hope or despair?

.

Our eyes’ observation

And mind’s interpretation

Won’t know the artist’s intention

Just our own assertation

.

Three pairs of teacups

Or two pairs of three

It only really matters

If we disagree

Image credit; 五玄土 ORIENTO – Unsplash 
( For the visually challenged reader, the image shows a table set with six teacups, a teapot and a glass beaker. The wall at the back is adorned with oriental art and a flower arrangement)

I stole Sadje’s title for this poem for her “What do you see?” Picture Prompt #40. I love reading different responses to the same prompt. It just proves that we really do see things differently based on who we are: our experiences, preferences, points of view all contribute to our interpretation of the information from our senses.

Kate’s Friday Fun prompt – Pairs was the big contributor to my interpretation of Sadje’s prompt. If you remember your elementary math, the number 6 can be made by two different multiplication pairs: 6 and 1, 3 and 2. It doesn’t matter if you have 3 sets of 2 or 2 sets of 3, the result is the same. This is called the Commutative Property and it holds true for addition, as well as, multiplication. (Who said you don’t need math if you’re going to be a poet?!)

With all the different opinions going around about school reopening, I always check to see who the opinion is coming from. Opinions from teachers, especially those who are also parents, have a lot more weight than opinions from politicians or even administrators who don’t have as much at stake. Everyone thinks or feels they are doing what is best for the children – from their point of view.

We have to make a decision about whether to send our kids back to school this week and it’s not getting easier. Writers – if you have sent your child(ren) back to school, what factored into your decision? How was it for the kids? What safety measures did your school take? Do you prefer 2×3 or 3×2?

Anyone who can see the future by reading tea leaves, please chime in as well!

©️ 2020 iido

Brambled Illusion – A Quadrille

I see the sweet berry –

Life as it used to be

I reach through the brambles

Grasping and gasping

The pain of worry scratching

The sting of despair drawing blood

The sweet berry out of reach

Life as it used to be –

An illusion

Not a bramble, but the rough bark is a sharp contrast to the softness of these blossoms.

A late offering for dVerse’s Quadrille #108 – Bramble. This has been a busy week, not so much physically, but mentally (and to be honest, emotionally).

I’ve been doing a lot of research on the pros and cons of sending kids back to school. There are a lot of different opinions out there. Depending on who the opinion is from, sending kids back to school is either imperative or tantamount to child abuse. Even the medical community doesn’t have a consistent message.

There are a lot of competing factors: parents who need to work or just need a break from their kids yet wanting to keep their kids safe; teachers who need to work but worry about their own health and that of their families; administrators who aren’t getting any guidance now suddenly tasked with making these life or death decisions; and of course, politicians who have their own agendas. The most conflicting discussions are the ones debating the importance of children’s physical health versus their emotional/social health.

Why do we have to chose?

These thorny, convoluted questions have made a bramble of my mind. But one thing I am sure of – we will never be able to go back to how life was before.

©️ 2020 iido

Gratitude’s Love Child

(No, I’m not pregnant!!)

There continues to be many things happening in my life that I am grateful for. One of these is finding a community of writers in real life and here, in the blogosphere. Another is stretching my “writing wings” with the various challenges provided by other blogs.

This poem was inspired by the Pic and a Word Challenge #150 – Gratitude. Welcome back, Patrick! I also incorporated the Tuesday Challenge from Go Dog Go Cafe which was to write a poem where every line begins with the same letter, and no line begins with the same word.  Thankfully, these two challenges came together quite nicely. Below is their grateful love child!

******

Bittersweet Gratitude

Today, my kids are all at school

The laundry calls my name

To-do lists loom across my desk

These errands know no shame.

Through the summer, I had loathed

Those little dirty feet

Tension cramped my shoulders

Tears fell on my sheets

Though now I am alone all day

Thoughts stray from my menial tasks

Treasured moments cross my mind

Thank goodness days go fast

©️ iido 2018

1 mile = 100 Calories

All 4 kids will be in school this week leaving me with two whole days ALL BY MYSELF!! I haven’t had that in about 4 years (since my two older ones were in school and I hadn’t had #3 yet). I had a 3.75 mile stroller run this past Thursday and I can definitely say, I am not going to miss pushing a stroller on my weekday runs! 

(My last stroller run with two awesome mother runners from Moms RUN this Town. Can you tell I’m smiling in this picture?)

I have a long list of things to do with my “extra free time”. Yes, it’s in quotes and yes, I am being “slightly” sarcastic! 

Besides being able to run and go to the gym alone, I’ll also be able to grocery shop and do laundry alone, take a shower alone, work on some household projects alone…gosh, now I’m getting a bit sad thinking about all my kids being away from me for 14 hours out of the week…good thing I bought some food for self-soothing….

Oh wait, did I saw that out loud? (Note: maybe that whole last section should have had quotes! =)

Yes, these are some of my favorite Filipino comfort foods! Snagged them when I went to NY this weekend since there are no Filipino food stores near me (gosh, I miss SJ and Seafood City!). 

No worries though – I have my running plan all written out for increasing my mileage after my half marathon this weekend. My full marathon is coming up in about a month! All those calories will just get burned away (right??)!

Can you guess how many calories is in the picture above and how many miles I’ll have to run to burn it off? Best guess will get some Sweet Corn Balls and chicharon!