Transition – A Poem

My daughter is growing hair

You know, “down there”

So we sat and talked about

Transitions

We talked about breasts and deodorant

About mood swings and not smelling rank

We even read a book about

Transitions

My bittersweet thoughts of my girl growing up

Interrupted by her saying that it needs to stop

Because she’s really a boy in

Transition

The feelings she had, now identified

A revelation that she could no longer hide

And so she wanted to

Transition

My bittersweet thoughts turned to fear

This went against beliefs I hold dear

What did I do wrong to warrant

Transition

But this wasn’t about me and my happiness

It was about my sweet child and their completeness

So I took a deep breath and researched

Transition

We went to the doctor and talked to the priest

We went to the mall, to try on clothes, at least

My love for my child would get us though

Transition

Acceptance is hard, some days I’m not there

Bittersweet thoughts in my head still flare

But my child’s on a journey, how can I not care

We can adjust to change, no need to despair

So proud of my child as we begin to prepare for

Transition

Image obtained from WordPress Free Photo Library (first time I’ve used an image from there – there wasn’t any attribution info so I hope this reference is ok).

This poem was written for Patrick’s Pic and a Word Challenge #237 – Transition. It is a work of fiction – my children haven’t expressed any gender or sexual preferences so far. I hope that if they do, I would be able to live up to the open acceptance I have characterized in this poem.

I want to believe that human love is unconditional, but I know that isn’t true. Even our love for our children isn’t unconditional – we expect something back, whether it’s obedience or taking care of us in our old age. Still, I hope to show my children that love can transcend and transform any difficult situation.

With the pandemic and calls for racial justice continuing, let’s not forget that this is also Pride Month. Love is love! Intersectionality should be a part of any process seeking true justice and equity.

EDITED 6/22/20 4 PM – I forgot to link this post to Kate’s Friday Fun request for our favorite sayings (this is what happens when inspiration wakes you up at 3 AM!). I don’t actually have a favorite saying, but I do collect sayings that I resonate with me. This saying, I think, was an unconscious inspiration for the poem above:

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” 
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

This saying has also made a home in my mind lately. I’m not sure if it’s leasing the space or if it’s there to stay…

“I have accepted fear as part of life – specifically the fear of change... I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back....” 
― Erica Jong

I hope it’s here to stay….

©️ 2020 iido

35 thoughts on “Transition – A Poem

  1. well said as a Mum Irma … I’m sure you would rise to the occasion should any of your children need to transition. I’ve supported a few friends through acceptance once their kids came out … easier as a family friend. And eventually they realise that it is still the child they love no matter the choice 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Irma, my dear, this one is so beautifully told. I had a lump in my throat as I came to the end.
    To be honest, I hoped it was fiction and I breathed a sigh of relief when I read your notes. What does it tell about me…that I can accept others for what they are but when it comes to family and friends, I need to work on being more accepting.
    Love this. ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I love this poem so much – ’tis a strange thing when poets find themselves of like minds. I, too, have been writing of transition of all types, but sexuality (and the myriad transitions for all involved) has been at the forefront. Thank you for your words.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I honestly was about to hyperventilate …i was reading it word by word and wanted to go directly to the story behind the poem (you always have one)..to know if this ia fiction or fact..but much as i want to avoid a suddeb heart attack lol…i finished reading it anyway and was relieve to know its a fiction.

    But at any rate, we know love is love and as mothers we will support our children no matter what.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Pingback: Vagabond ~ Pic and a Word Challenge #238 – Pix to Words

  6. Wow! Beautiful, insightful … and what a journey you and your child are on.

    You’re the third parent I know who is now transitioning along with their trans child. And I notice that you already understand that transition now defines you as much as your child. That is a most beautiful kind of love.

    I have to admit, it hasn’t an easy transition for even for myself, as a friend of the family, as their daughter became their son. So many subtle and potent lessons to learn about myself as I watched the changes in him, and his family. So many things to change, about myself.

    I can’t claim even to imagine what the transition means for them (or for you) though I know my friend, the father, needed a lot of time to discover acceptance. So, thank you, for illuminating a little of that for me, for us.

    You’ve helped me along, too.

    ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for your kind words, Patrick, but I have mislead you! This poem was a fiction, my hope for how I would act if one of my children were to transition. Maybe I didn’t make that clear in my notes at the end and for that I apologize.

      I agree though that, even as an outside observer, we are changed when we witness a change occurring – whether that change is physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. As a parent, I can only hope to be able to honor and accept any and all changes my children will experience. ❤️

      Like

      • <chuckle> You mislead no one. Especially not the guy who read the poem but skimmed the rest of the post. ❤

        I don't have any children myself, but many of my friends do, and many of them are hitting those ages when all kinds of transitions are happening, and not just sexual orientation and gender identity.

        Still… My niece just came out as bi. Two of my best friends have children who are transitioning their genders, and another's is gay.

        When I was their age, back in the '70s and '80s, in rural New Hampshire, to boot, this just didn't happen. Of course, that didn't mean that everyone was straight and cis-gendered. It meant that those who were never went public with the information.

        It is so wonderful that these people needn't hide who they are. Not that it's easy. But, with parents and family and friends like you, it has to be easier than pretending you're someone you're not.

        So, kudos to you.

        Like

Leave a Reply to michnavs Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s