The empty bench sighed
Emergent greens cried
Spring’s promise implied
Whisper-soft steps hide
Tissues beside

(For the visually challenged reader, the image shows a young girl standing next to an old sprawling tree in a park. There is an empty bench in front of her)
This is the first kyoka that I have written, in fact, I hadn’t heard of a kyoka until reading Frank’s Meet the Bar post on dVerse about 5 line Japanese poetry. Frank (not to be confused with this Frank Tassone), who is an expert in English-language, Japanese style poetry, writes that a kyoka like a tanka except the focus is on human nature. He also explains that in order to follow more closely, the Japanese linguistic unit called “mora”, that the syllable count should be between 20-24 and not 31. Challenge accepted!
Did I succeed in taking a lovely picture offered by Sadje’s What do you see Picture Prompt #30 and turning it into a satirical take on human nature? My allergies say, YES! Especially since I was also able to include Patrick’s Pic and a Word Challenge #232 – Emergent into this piece. (I’m still on a streak and it was Patrick’s birthday last weekend!) Do I get bonus points for the unintentional rhyming? The kyoka doesn’t have that requirement but this poem seemed to think it was the “elbow nudge, nudge” it needed.
Spring is definitely here and summer is fast on her heels. School has ended for my kids so we are taking a break from academics and focusing on….nothing for now. This has been hard for me as it seems we “devolve” when we don’t have some sort of structure…however, my kids are not big fans of schedules or “being told what to do”. Of course, they’re not….they are big fans of video games, eating brownies for breakfast, eating breakfast food for any meal other than breakfast, talking to friends on the latest app for hours and seeing how many days can they not shower or brush their teeth before they’re able to smell themselves.
With shelter in place is still in effect, there no summer camps available, the play grounds are still off-limits and our usual summer activities (pool, museums, travel) are all still closed. I worry about how the next two months will go, as I don’t think being in front of electronic screens while eating sugar in all it’s forms is the best idea.
So, I’m giving them through the weekend, then, we’re going to start having suggestions for things to do during the day that needs to be done by a certain time.
A schedule by any other name…is still structure that is needed by children and welcome by mothers!
©️ 2020 iido
I don’t know that form of poetry but for me this works very well.
Thanks for using my prompt in your poem.
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Thank you, Sadje. I didn’t even know there was such a form but I do like the discipline of trying to keep to a certain number of syllables. This picture is beautiful – I had several ideas for it for it, but this one made it to the post.
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It’s a good way to develop your poetry skills, practicing new forms.
Thanks 🙏
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enjoyed your very gentle kyoka Irma … glad your kids are into conserving water! And that I don’t have to live with them 😎
Boundaries and structure are vital coz nobody likes wild kids … you will get there!
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Conserving water…thanks for the positive spin on the situation!
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lol reframing it does help!
Maybe sharing this interaction might too … cheeky sods 🙂
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Lovely form, Irma! Your verse suited the pic very well.
Setting boundaries is becoming so difficult. Due to online classes, screen time has increased and with no sports I am at tether’s devising ways to keep the younger one engaged! Not a good time to be a mom!!
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Totally agree, Punam! As if it wasn’t hard enough to begin with….
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I know dear…but we will emerge stronger and wiser.
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Lovely piece of work, as always, Irma. Brownies for breakfast, I think your kids are onto something. I’m surprised my husband hasn’t thought of that! 😏
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My kids are getting too smart for their own good! They’ve discovered some of the brownie mixes have almost the same sugar content as cereal so isn’t it really just the same thing?
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🤣🤣 I’m not going to point that out to my husband either!
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Those tissues suggest spring allergies which for some reason I seem to be having recently.
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Yes! I don’t know if staying indoors is making it better or worse…
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Brownies forever
they fit for all reasons
children are so wise
lockdown we here
40. Irma, family hello
41. senior1938voice new to this too, nice discovery while in lockdown. Will be sharing personal History In Only Five Lines, the typhoon Nov 2013 striking head on Cebu Island, not veering northward or southward as is normal, steered by trade winds. Well! We use to say; “Man can not control the weather” – well, it is not only weather learned to be controlled; it’s our health in the palm of their hands now, a long planned venture.
Be well, your family, and remember, besides brownies, that which feeds and fortifies our immune systems, we must learn and do. This is a discussion we so sorely need, and I will be using this new (awoken) form to do just that. You are 40. Irma. I am 41. Senior1938Voice, lockdown and doing this thing. Sharing to bring light to ward off darkness from our yet living years….
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Thank you for the 5 line poem and for your visit. Stay well!
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You stay well too these trying days; at least my wife feeds me brownies now and then, a bit of joy.
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Brownies can make even the darkest days seem better. Thank you for stopping by!
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Thank you for the compliment, although I’d hardly consider myself more than a skilled amateur on haikai. I like how you infer our own captive condition without stating it, alluding to Spring’s unfolding. Well done!
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Thank you, Frank! That means a lot coming from you. I do like the structure of these Japanese poetry forms. I will try to do some more.
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Pingback: Sharing responses to the prompt, What do you see; Jude- The Call, Lauren- What do you see , Jules- Disconsolable and Irma- Gesundheit – A Kyoka – Keep it alive
Thank you for reblogging, Sadje!
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Pingback: What do you see # 30- A roundup – Keep it alive
Interesting form – also new to me. You’ve used it expertly 🙂
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Thank you, Chris! Frank did a wonderful job of explaining the form.
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Counting syllables seems to me to be restricting … but you managed it with elan!
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Thank you, Beverly! I actually enjoy being restricted in this away, otherwise I would just go on and on and on….
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