Red Cup Revisited – A Double Nonet

The red cup – a fixture in pictures
My focus yet blurred in my mind
Strong and sweet – the fake message
Scared and silenced – the truth
It matched everything
Or so I thought
Remember?
I can
Not
Stop
Drinking
Toss the cup
Where can I drown
This fear of living
Who can I reinvent?
Lost for so long in the mix
I need to climb out of the rocks
Where is the hand holding the red cup?

IMG_5877

Nowadays, the cup I hold is usually a coffee cup and not the ubiquitous red solo cup of parties past. With all the stress that has been brought on by this pandemic, I’ve seen many memes about parents drinking more to deal with the kids being home with them all day, having to help their kids with school work, having to work from home – the list is endless for all the issues that a large glass of red wine (my drink of choice) could fix.

I worry though when I hear my friends joking about drinking at noon after struggling with their kid to do math or about going to the bathroom or closet to get away from their family so they can drink. I have a friend who jokes that once the shelter-in-place is over, they will either need weight watchers or AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or both. At least I hope they’re joking.

Because drinking to deal with stress can lead to a drinking problem – especially if the stress is daily and constant and they are drinking daily (and constantly) to deal with it.

Because drinking (whether it is viewed as a problem or not) will affect their parenting including how their child sees (and learns) how to deal with stress.

Because whether it’s eating or drinking, this behavior doesn’t get rid of the problem and in fact, can just exacerbate it.

Yes, I’m speaking from experience. Yes, I feel the pull to fill up a red cup now – especially in light of recent losses and especially after reconnecting with some friends from college who I did a lot of drinking with  (is it weird that we all reconnected because of dealing with this pandemic?).

Jamie’s Wednesday Writing Prompt from two weeks ago asked for poems about “reinvention,” which is what I did – and do – after significant life events.  So, this poem is a reminder, that I am not that college girl anymore and I don’t need a red cup to calm myself, I don’t need a red cup to deal with stress. I have writing…I have running… ….inspiration and perspiration…..

I’m in charge of what my hand will hold….

 

© 2020 iido

12 thoughts on “Red Cup Revisited – A Double Nonet

  1. great insight and resolve here Irma … I come from a family with major drinking problems! Fortunately I’ve never liked alcohol but I can see how it becomes a easy prop because it is socially acceptable, readily available, etc … but you are so right about what such an example is teaching your kids. They don’t miss a thing!

    Hang in there girl this too will end and you have the resilience … run/write it out!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, I think there is a sense of despair that people (myself included) are feeling which makes it easier to give in to unhealthy behavior. Reminders of what we are in control of are so important as well as surrounding ourselves with positivity. For me, that means less news and more poetry!

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  2. Oh Irma, i salute you dear…i am so proud of you …your children too i am sure..
    This is not an easy time.and i too am at times in panick mode as this lockdown separated us (me and my girls) but with prayers and faith, we are keeping steady each day…

    ❤❤❤❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it is so easy to return to bad habits. Faith has been very helpful especially with feelings of things being out of out control. They are starting to loosen the lockdown here although I dob’t think we are ready as our numbers are still high. How about where you are? Stay safe, dear friend!

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      • From where i am number of infected cases is still on the rise but also have eased the lockdown….and as you said i also dont think we are ready to open..back home in PH its also alarming as our number of recoveries is very low with very hight death rates…🙇🙇🙇we continue to pray Irma..

        Liked by 1 person

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