A late entry for Patrick’s Pic and a Word Challenge #212 – Expanse. As 2019 draws to a close, I felt a need to describe my feelings about the upcoming year. A year seems like such a long time but the day to day living makes it go by quickly. Even these last two weeks have sped by. Every night, I’ve been asking myself, “What did I do today? Where did the hours go?”
I’m hoping to savor 2020 a little bit. The first decade of the 2000’s have brought so many changes and I feel like I need to take some time to re-evaluate what has happened, what I’m doing and where I’m going. I hope you stay with me on this next journey around the sun!
The weeks have gone by so fast this December! Writing and blogging has given way to shopping and “celebrating” the season. Although, I can argue that half the time it’s hard to say what exactly is being celebrated besides commercialism.
I hope this holiday season does not go by as a blur for you – that you have the time to savor the love of family and the comfort of friends. Merry Christmas to my Christian friends! Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends! Happy holidays to my friends celebrating other traditions this month! And for those who prefer this version – Happy Festivus!
My wheelhouse is broken
I cannot move
Wallowing in stagnant waters
I am empty
Listing to the side
My hull sticking to the mud
My paint bleached by the sun
I have lost my purpose and my way
Pieces of deck have been taken
Used to make rafts
Memories of travels and adventures
Wash through my wreckage
Consoling like Mother’s tears
My wheelhouse used to be my career, my profession but as a mother who no longer has a job outside the home, I do feel like my wheelhouse is broken. What is my area of expertise now? If it’s supposed to be mothering – every day, my kids show me I still have so much to learn about being the best mom. Writing? I will leave that part up to you!
I love orange the color and orange the fruit so I had many ideas for this poem. One of my favorite jokes also includes the word “orange” (orange you glad I’m not telling it here?). Then I found this picture of my daughter horseback riding and it all came together!
I runfess that November was actually not a bad running month for me. This was probably due to my extremely low running standards. I ended running outside at least once a week and then doing weights at least once a week. This did not lead to any weight loss or any significant gains in running fitness. On the flip side, I didn’t gain weight or felt like I lost any running stamina.
I runfess that I didn’t enjoy the Girls on the Run (GOTR) race this year. My daughter couldn’t do the program so we registered as community runners. I don’t know if it was our school program or the GOTR program in general, but they really were not very welcoming to girls who were community runners. My daughter trained by herself to get ready for the race. I did run with her a few times but she took it upon herself to run when her siblings were at other activities. Her initiative and determination are qualities that GOTR is supposed to admire however at the race, she didn’t get a medal and was snubbed by the leaders of the GOTR team for pictures. I was proud of my girl and I know she was proud too however I know that being left out was difficult for her.
I runfess that I ran on thanksgiving day, my own personal turkey trot and got this little but of recognition from my Apple Watch, and was so taken by my own awesomeness that I signed up for a SPARTAN STADION RACE!!
I know. I feel a little crazy. I’ve only done one obstacle race before and it was a girls weekend doing the Warrior Dash which is a bit “fluffy” compared to other obstacle races (like Tough Mudder). The Spartan is a step up from Warrior Dash and doesn’t come with a cute Viking hat. At least the one I signed up for isn’t muddy since it’s being held at a stadium but the obstacles still look daunting.
So, this is what happens when I run alone and get to thinking about what things I want to change or do differently for next year.
I’m glad I got all that off my chest! Bring it on December!
Sometimes I write the poem and sometimes it writes itself. This one was the latter. I started it as a poem about the environment then it took a different turn. You arm chair psychologists can let me know what that means!