The Need for Stars and Moonbeams – A Villanelle

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Open your eyes to the need for dreams
Oxygen can only fill you ’till death
A shooting star can surpass moonbeams

Sustenance is more than what it seems
Bread will only increase your breadth
Open your eyes to the need for dreams

Like water rushing from the streams
Joining with the ocean’s wealth
A shooting star can surpass moonbeams

The body’s needs can be redeemed
Any oasis can restore health
Open your eyes to the need for dreams

Your heart’s words, a primal scream
The need for more, rising from the depth
A shooting star can surpass moonbeams

Can you live with broken schemes?
A life lived without true breath?
Open your eyes to the need for dreams
A shooting star can surpass moonbeams

This is my first attempt at a villanelle courtesy of SarahSouthWest at d’Verse Poets who provided a very thorough explanation of the form. The subject matter was inspired by Jamie’s Wednesday Writing Prompt to write a poem about one or more of the “four necessities of life,” namely, “bread, water, oxygen and dreams.”

In my villanelle, I have ranked “dreams” as the number one necessity needed to survive life. Food, water, oxygen are all needed to sustain life, but to survive the hardships of life, to thrive in this sometimes unforgiving environment, we need our dreams, our hopes. To me, it is the difference between living and Being Alive.

*** If you are reading this through Mr Linky at dVerse (or even if you’re not), please feel free to leave a critique or comment so I can improve this poem. Many thanks in advance!

©️ iido 2019

23 thoughts on “The Need for Stars and Moonbeams – A Villanelle”

  3. i am yet to write mine, its still stewing in my mind, not a form i am fond of and don’t think i have ever written one, now inspired by you i will try to post it. I like the reference to wants and needs and what sustains us, dreams are so important, it keeps you going. a really meaningful villanelle Irma.

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  6. Your first one, eh? You write like a natural. Your words felt breezy, urgent, and optimistic. I’m not qualified to provide a technical critique, but artistically speaking, I’m over the moon with this one.

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  7. Survival is not enough! I have no qualifications to critique your poem, I can only say what it made me feel. I loved the driving rhythm, it felt like a heartbeat, and you maintained it perfectly. The repetitions give an urgency to the message, and I liked that you started with “death” and ended with “breath” – and of course, you’re right, dreams are important. Without them, are we even human?

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  9. I do not know what you could possibly improve in this beautiful poem. It is deep in meaning, has lovely images and rhymes that sound very musical. The repetition of this verse “Open your eyes to the need for dreams” gives your poem great strength. Loved it!

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