You had arrived first
Patiently waiting for me
Our meeting began
But you hadn’t ordered coffee
I was confused
Since I knew the score
Without paying the price
They ask you to leave the store
But you sat and you talked
That’s when it got scary.
You exclaimed, “I don’t see colour”
That it wasn’t a worry
I should have known
Right then and there
To keep my mouth shut
I shouldn’t have cared to share
But I took a chance
And brought up the notion
That your ability to sit without buying a thing
Was because of your white complexion
Your demeanor, indignant
And your voice, like ice
“Don’t call me a racist”, you said
“That isn’t nice!”
I never called you that
I began to protest
I’m just pointing out this double standard
To get it off my chest
But you didn’t see
The privilege that you wore
And just like that
You stomped out the door
I sat and I wondered
Just when things went wrong
You and I had a lot in common
We even liked the same songs
But the one thing different
Was what you claimed not to see
The colour of my skin
That claimed my ancestry
I know I’m not poor
Or disabled or gay
I speak the language
And I’m allowed to stay
I know I’m privileged
And have much to repay
But today you proved again
The different rules in play
While I sat stunned
Feeling full of self-pity
The server comes and asked
When I’m buying a coffee
I’m still seen as other
I just have to accept
While drinking my coffee
I silently wept
But you just continued
No hiccup in your step
Then you told everyone
That I was inept
You used your white privilege
To put me in my place
Because I said the price of coffee
Depended on your race
So – if you are a person
Who is truly aware
Of your privilege and whether
Life is really unfair
Be sure to buy coffee
And listen with your heart
In order to end the -isms
That’s where we need to start
This poem was written for Anmol’s prompt at dVerse Poetics to write about privilege. dVerse has had several thought provoking posts: political provocation in poetry and now this one on privilege. It makes me happy and hopeful that they are opening the conversation about these topics. * As of this writing, the link has expired for this prompt! My overthinking has again caused me to miss Mr. Linky! 😢
The poem is also written for Patrick’s Pic and a Word Weekly Challenge – Color (or as Patrick would say “Colour”). The issue of privilege, race and racism isn’t just based on ethnicity (a person’s cultural background – whether it’s based on religion, tradition or ancestral location) or nationality (the country of one’s passport) but the actual color of one’s skin. Even within communities of color, talking about “colorism” – the fact that light skinned POC have some of the white privilege that darker skinned POC don’t have – is a difficult conversation.
This poem is based on a true incident that happened to me a few weeks ago. The white woman who I was speaking with effectively damaged my reputation because of a disagreement regarding politics and race. Despite saying she wasn’t racist, her behavior indicated otherwise and I don’t think she was even aware of this. I carry the burden of this interaction. No matter the privileges I have (whether born with it like being physically able or earned like my education and financial status), here in the USA, it is what people see that often times determines their behavior.
One last note – Björn’s post about provocation in poetry inspired the title of this poem. Before anyone gets into a huff – I don’t mistrust all White Women – just the racists ones who don’t order coffee when meeting in a cafe.
©️ iido 2019
wow you and Paul have knocked this topic out of the park!
Anyone who has to declare that they are NOT racist, ageist, sexist, etc ARE. The genuine people who don’t see the difference wouldn’t even think to say so ….
So sorry you had this experience, she is really not worth getting upset about. She has the problem, not you …
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Thank you for that validation. It still upsets me that someone who I thought was a becoming a friend behaved in that way. I really like what they are doing in Australia about recognizing the indigenous peoples and the effects of colonialism on culture there. What do you think about that?
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She was never going to be a friend, she was arrogant enough to think you would be desperate enough to accept any crumb she might throw you 😦
I volunteer weekly with our First Australians and have no idea what you are hearing overseas but here nothing is moving at all … our government has failed to bring their conditions into the last century let alone this one … so maybe you are just hearing propaganda …
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You’re right, Kate. I really appreciate your perspective on the situation.
Maybe I am reading propaganda? I was looking at social services in Australia for specifically for women and POC and saw a lot of sites that had an acknowledgement of the impact of colonialism and what they as an organization are trying to do remedy that. Maybe it’s not on all areas of life there then? I had my hopes up!
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saying words and acting on them are completely different. Their health, education, life span, opportunities, etc are way behind even our migrants and refugees …
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The same is true for the First Peoples here. When a whole country is against you and conspires to take everything from you, 😢😢😢
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what happens here is too cruel 😦
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True. 😢😢
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Wow, so powerful. This message needs to be conveyed far and wide, as often as possible, and your poem conveys it so well. Thank you.
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Thank YOU for sharing it! ❤️
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Reblogged this on Robby Robin's Journey and commented:
Blogger IDoRun uses her blog to share her running experiences and also her poems. This poem should be shared far and wide. Those of us who live with privilege by accident of birth need to be reminded of the message it conveys.
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Thank you so much, Jane! 💐❤️
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I won’t buy coffee, but if they have tea I’ll buy tea. Does that make me trustworthy 🙂
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Lol! Of course! I know you won’t walk out on me! ❤️
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That was a very well written poem. That was my first thought when I read the title. I was like wait I don’t buy coffee. But the poem does say we still have a long way to go.
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Yes – and it won’t go anywhere if we can’t talk about it over a hot drink!
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Or while running 4 miles! 😉🏃♀️🏃🏻♀️
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If I remember correctly, you had mentioned this person in another post. Those born with privileges are so accustomed to them that they can’t see they are a privileged lot. Very powerful verse!
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Thank you for that validation, Punam. Yes, these interactions stay with me for a long time – feelings of shock, sorrow, fear and worry still ripple from this rock thrown in my pond.
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I totally understand that and identify with all the feelings mentioned.
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The sense of camaraderie is tempered by the fact that you, my dear friend, might also have had these awful experiences. 😢❤️
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We don’t have the issue of racism but we have casteism and people are judged on basis of the colour of their skin. 😔❤️
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Wow, you addressed a hot topic. I watched several videos on Youtube like this one (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD5f8GuNuGQ&t=4s) that made me think I have many privileges for simply growing up in another country. My mother once said to me that even if you’re born in America, other people will recognize you to be foreign first. It made me think for some time. I have a friend who I love deeply. Because of the lens that she views life through, it’s difficult for her to recognize certain things. It’s happened to me in other settings.
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Yes, I’ve seen that exercise video. It is hard being Asian American because they do always ask you “where are you from” and they always look confused when I say “New York”, as if I can’t look the way I do AND be from the US. I’m sorry it’s happened to you too.
As for friends, I have lost friends because of this issue. I’ve reached my limit with “friends” who are ignorant of this and don’t want to educate themselves – I would have thought they would considering our friendship but, nope! Awareness is a huge first step but it’s the “What Do You do about it?” That really matters. Hugs to you my friend! ❤️
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Pingback: Entangled ~ Pic and a Word Challenge #176 – Pix to Words
Ah! I might not order anything because I’d be waiting for you to join me before I order. It’s a habit, at least in Slovenia. I’d need an hour to even get what the issue is. My privilege is so thick that I can’t see injustice when it’s in front of my nose.
Now I’ll say something hilarious: The only worse thing would be if I were a white man.
HIhihi!
I suppose joking like that is a sign of my privilege too. :p
I’m sorry you had this experience but I’m glad you wrote this poem. It gets the point across.
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😁😁 Yes, humor is sometimes the only way to respond to these situations! There is nothing wrong with waiting for the other person to arrive before ordering, but I know you would have still ordered something and we would have eaten and drank and enjoyed our meeting.
I also appreciate your awareness of privilege. It’s a good start! Is Slovenia a more homogeneous country? I know other countries have different reactions to racial issues based on their history with it.
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It’s pretty much fully homogeneous, not only racially but also nationally, even though slowly diversifying for a while. It is also becoming increasingly racist and fascist, like the majority of European countries, with the arrival of migrants. It’s getting ugly. 😦
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Oh I am sorry to hear that! I know change is difficult but compassion should not be.
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Wow Irma..jusf wow….i love at how you.poured out your heart in this.lovely verses…
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Thanks so much! Writing is so cathartic for me!
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