I am tired yet I can’t sleep
Thoughts of all the things I should have done today
That I didn’t
Thoughts of being in bed with you
yet writing and writing
the writing is getting in the way
but I have to get down these thoughts
still so many have escaped
I can’t write while I am driving
I can’t write while I am parenting
I can think of what to write but if I can’t get to the computer
if I can’t get to the pen and paper
The thought runs away
Probably the one that would have gone in that lit mag
in that e-mag
the one to win that accolade
It’s so fleeting the good words and phrases that come
In and out
I need to catch them
I need to hold them
I need to write them
I need to sleep
I need to pay attention to the children
and to you
and the laundry
Ugh I hate the laundry
and the dishes
I’m supposed to do these chores out of love for my family
But I don’t love the chores
It doesn’t mean I don’t love my family
I can show them love in other ways
by ignoring them so I can write words of love
To them for them of them
Or cooking
I love to cook
or snuggling
I love to snuggle
Or sleeping
Choosing writing over sleeping over you
But the deadline is tomorrow
There is no deadline for chores
or family or lovers
Or is there…
Challenged by Jamie Dedes at The Poet by Day, this stream of consciousness poem is the first I have ever written. I must admit it was a difficult write for me! I guess I usually edit my thoughts long before it reaches the paper – thinking about the words, phrases, rhythm before I even begin to type with my thumbs. Maybe because I do so much of my writing in little bits during the day on my phone, that I am loathe to edit once it’s already down. Can I blame technology for my writing style?
I wrote this piece around 2 am with a sick child who had kept me awake. I couldn’t go back to sleep since I was thinking about this prompt. I had tried a few other times to write something but kept getting interrupted or writing something that I knew wasn’t exactly stream of consciousness since I had already thought about what to write (I don’t cheat on these prompts!). It took an overtired brain to get to this un-filtered point! If I hadn’t fallen asleep, I wonder where else it might have led or if my words would have continued to perseverate….
©️ iido 2018
this is fabulous! There are so many ways to love our family, and taking care of your own needs is important too. If it is writing then do it, loving yourself as you are doing it. I love your spontaneous writing here. Sleep well now.❤🙂
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I’m so glad you liked it! And I did sleep well after I wrote it!
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That is wonderful you sleep well. A good sign you did the right thing.
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This felt so spontaneous and written on the spot..that makes this poem special..
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Thank you! I wrote it and then hit send. That’s probably the most spontaneous I’ve been in a while! 😂
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style or not this one is raw and full of energy, you say you wrote it at 2am, lack of sleep, questions, musings, tiredness all robbing you of lucid thought but it flows like a river of dreams, truly a pure stream of consciousness. well done, oh so well done indeed!
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Thank you my dear friend! I am usually much more structured so I needed that tiredness to let go of that need for control. This style of poetry makes one vulnerable in unexpected ways.
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tiredness does that too and me grumpiness, I am too vulnerable with kindness too – ugh i am a mess! love how you let the thoughts just write themselves, you should write more this way, it’s organic
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I just love this! So many times I feel the same about family and chores! I hope you did manage to sleep and your kiddo is better. Hugs dear. 🤗💕
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Yes, we are all illness-free (at least for the moment!). And I did sleep well after writing that poem! I highly recommend this style if you have a lot on your plate 😉 ❤️
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Thank god for being illness-free and the sleep! There always seems a lot more on the plate than I would like 😉 Will surely give this a try. 💕
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Creativity and inspiration always seem to call at the most inconvenient moments. I was trying to get ready to go to sleep at my normal bedtime last night and I had an idea for a poem floating in my head…I quickly added it to my google docs on my phone and then climbed into bed, but I found as the night went on it was playing with more ideas the rest of the night as I was trying to sleep. I find this is a frequent thing for me. I think it’s because it’s a time when our brain is the least burdened and their creativity says look, you’ve ignored me all day so here I am ….let’s play. 😉
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Oh, I like your optimistic outlook here! Playing vs ruminating/perseverating – creativity wanting our attention to play seems less annoying when trying to get to sleep.
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I agree.😉
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I LOVE this one ❤ For myself, I find many of the best ideas come at the least convenient time – when I should be trying to fall asleep! It's hard to switch my brain off when all of the ideas that have been percolating throughout the day finally have the downtime to spring to life.
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Exactly! When the body wants to rest, the mind wants to play!
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