My recent post about my self-professed “fish love of running” has stayed in my mind since I posted it. If you know me IRL, you know that I am not a natural runner. I only started running when I was 30 so it’s been only about 13 years since I laced up my first pair of running shoes.
This week, I did a couple of quick miles while my girls were at their horse back riding lesson (yes, I am living vicariously through them – what little girl didn’t go through a horse obsession?).
It was my first sola run in a long time, probably almost a year since we moved to our new locale. As much as I love running with my group #MRTT, having this time for myself was something I didn’t realize I was missing.
When I first started running, I ran exclusively alone. I was worried about being slow and didn’t want anyone witnessing my walking or jiggly body parts. As I was able to run farther and faster and became more confident, I joined my local running group and realized the awesomeness that is the group run. Now, I usually always run with my MRTT group and do stuff like this:
Running has definitely given me the gift of confidence not just in my body but in mind and spirit.
And that’s something I really need right now.
As lovely as the farmland surrounding me during this run, I couldn’t help but think of the people living in the area who might not welcome me running through, who would think of me as “other” and attribute any number of negative qualities based on my skin and facial features. Would they even see me as “just” a runner? I couldn’t decide whether I should try to run faster for safety or run slower to prove that I, too, deserve to be here.
As my footsteps found their rhythm, my breathing became my focus and I was finally able to enjoy my run. This is the second best gift I have received from running: the ability to have a few moments of freedom.
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